Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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