Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just high enough for therapy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
