The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
