oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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