put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
