Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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