I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
