i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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