Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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