My room smells like vodka and shame
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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