That's intense
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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