she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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