And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
