From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
