So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
