No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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