so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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