that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I checked into jail on foursquare
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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