i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
