I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I want to be your penis for a week.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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