So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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