two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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