If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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