Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
