found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
