yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
