We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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