Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
