Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
