I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize