Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Randomize
