the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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