i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
