Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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