You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
