Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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