Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
