She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
