Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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