I am puke
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
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On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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