no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
