had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
