I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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