I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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