U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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