Porn is love you can see.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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