she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
