when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
