do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
