): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
