you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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