Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra

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  (916): ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra http://tfl.nu/wsqt
  Replies (5) Good night (2783) Bad night (614)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?

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  (860): Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims? http://tfl.nu/jffq
  Replies (45) Good night (4208) Bad night (1075)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

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  (919): I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again. http://tfl.nu/8soy
  Replies (13) Good night (781) Bad night (3019)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

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  (919): Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon. http://tfl.nu/tzl9
  Replies (57) Good night (20819) Bad night (1678)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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  (908): Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks. http://tfl.nu/ltgr
  Replies (11) Good night (5645) Bad night (1913)
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  (949): View more from California

  My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.

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  (949): My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship. http://tfl.nu/pxfl
  Replies (11) Good night (3338) Bad night (1308)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing

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  (317): So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing http://tfl.nu/lzer
  Replies (15) Good night (3594) Bad night (1426)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?

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  (603): Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night? http://tfl.nu/gcf5
  Replies (9) Good night (1743) Bad night (808)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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  (631): I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion. http://tfl.nu/lz1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1480) Bad night (848)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  next time we drink: battle shots.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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  (403): next time we drink: battle shots. (1-403): battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out. http://tfl.nu/hwdw
  Replies (9) Good night (1254) Bad night (706)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.

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  (484): wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that. http://tfl.nu/dlkz
  Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (486)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

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  (330): Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them. http://tfl.nu/yzp3
  Replies (0) Good night (789) Bad night (277)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.

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  (317): So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day. http://tfl.nu/ljj0
  Replies (3) Good night (284) Bad night (552)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating

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  (503): I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating http://tfl.nu/0246
  Replies (4) Good night (631) Bad night (284)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?

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  (480): Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds? http://tfl.nu/pa31
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (204)

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