ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order