Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
