you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
