do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize