There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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