I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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