Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize