it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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