I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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