i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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