I got chris browned last night
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
