Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think i got beer on your cat.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
