you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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