if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
