its not stalking. its research.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
