I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
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Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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