Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
