Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
