shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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