Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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