I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
