Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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